Fatal Lavender Ballet Flats
by SmartieBlondie
Summary: Artemis was simply sitting on a bench, waiting for his girlfriend. This escalated to warding off a jocks advances, hitting people with feminine shoes, and a halarious break up. -One Shot


Fifteen year old Artemis Fowl the Second was sitting in one of the many benches on the grounds of St. Bartelbys School For Young Gentlemen and Ladies, deep in thought, and waiting for his girlfriend to return from the washroom.

He was pondering why humans went straight from the dinosaurs to the Ice Age without talking about the in-between points in history when they were displaying museum exhibits. This was when he was tapped on the shoulder rather harshly.

It turned out to be a group of about eight people around his age.

A blonde boy with a green T-Shirt and jeans was smirking at him-likely because of Butlers absence, which was only due to the fact that his girlfriend was with him- Jake had his arm around a new girlfriend of his, who was currently snuggling into his chest.

Artemis turned his gaze from Jake's brunette girlfriend and looked at the boy with a flat unintimidated stare.

"Hey loser, sitting there doing nothing cuz you don't got a girl?" He said in a taunting tone.

Artemis paused to try and understand what the meaning of the other boy's sentence was, he arrived at the conclusion that Jake had said, 'Hello social outcast, are you sitting on that bench doing nothing because you do not have a girlfriend?'

He replied, "No, I am sitting here waiting for my girlfriend." Artemis looked calmly into expressions of shock and disbelief until his pupil landed on Jake again. The boy was looking at him with an arrogant expression. 'Like a gorilla that picked up a fruit from the ground and is proud for no reason.' Thought Artemis, smirking slightly.

"So you got yourself a girlfriend then? How much did you pay her and how ugly is she to pretend she's your girlfriend? She can't be half as hot as Jenette. Eh, Babe?"

Artemis, personally, thought that Jenette was rather pretty. Of course she couldn't compete with his girlfriend. He was, rather disgusted about how Jake talked to, and about, his girlfriend. It seemed his girlfriend had something against him bragging about her looks.

"Actually, I paid her nothing, and she is beautiful." He said, smirking.

"Psh.. Yea right. Jeanette's the hottest girl I gotten yet, right my homies?" He said, acting 'cool'.

Jenette, having picked up on how Artemis respected girls way more than her boyfriend, was frowning slightly, looking at her purple ballet flats.

"I, frankly, do not care what her temperature is. If she is that 'hot' take her home and give her some medicine, she may have a fever."

At that moment a beutiful girl came strutting up beside the bench Artmeis was sitting on and looked at the conversation carefully.

She was short, about one and a half heads shorter than Artemis himself.

She had nut brown skin and one Hazel eye with one ice blue. Jake, being dumb, did not notice how they almost matched Artmeis Fowl's.

Her auburn hair went down an inch below the nape of her neck and her nose and ears were slightly pointed to create a rather elvish look.

She wore dark blue skinny jeans and green converse, with a forest green T-Shirt that had a picture of a black smiley face that looked painted.

She was smiling genuinely and looked at Jake.

"Hello, who are you?"

"Hello to you too hot stuff. I'm Jake Richardson. We should make out some time." He said.

Jenette was about to explode and Artemis was going to get up when he spoke again.

Ignoring the rude comment Holly replied, "Holly Short."

"Damn, girl. You are like a car accident. I can't look away."

"Great! Maybe while your looking, you'll crash and die." She replied, smiling brightly. Jenette smirked, and waited for her plan to play out.

Ignoring her obvious blow off, Jake said, "Is your name Mickey, because you're so FINE!"

Holly grinned, "No it's Minnie." She looked down at his pants zipper and back at him than added, "I think you can relate." She then walked a few paced to a grinning Artemis Fowl, kissed him, and walked away, arm in arm with him.

Jenette looked at Jake, who just grinned down at her and leant in for a kiss.

She avoided the offending lips and stood in front of him.

He looked at her with a question on his dumb face and she grinned, seeing that pretty much the entire school was watching.

She took off her right purple ballet slipper and hit his' little man in the basement' as hard as she could.

He cried out and as he doubled over, Jenette said, "Did I hit it? Sorry if I didn't, it's hard to hit small targets." And walked away, leaving a laughing crowd And a mortified, in pain, ex behind.

She got out of the crowd and got high fived by Holly Short and praised by Artemis Fowl.

Honestly, everyone in the schoolyard, including Jenette, Holly and Artmis, thought it had been a great say.

Exept for Jake, of course- who's popularity had been stripped form him with one fatal blow with a slipper.


End file.
